About me:

About me:
My name is Venimalia and I’m an Imp. What’s that, you ask? Imps are quite small, but we can pass as human if we want to. I wear high heels and everyone thinks I’m just some small woman. Except that I have yellow eyes like a cat. If I want to pass as a human, I have to wear contact lenses. I have to say, modern human technology is quite practical, but here in my realm, Imprana, we use magic. Imprana lies in a dimension parallel to the human earth and can only be entered and left by Imps.
I work as a keeper of knowledge, which means that I’m in charge of memory stones. See, we don’t have scientific books, we have magical stones that one can unlock to gain knowledge or abilities. One needs great magical powers to unlock some of these stones. Thankfully I am that. Unfortunately I’m also no more than semi-sane. At least people tell me that every time they try to find something in my collection. Personally, I think of myself as slightly eccentric, slightly plump and quite capable at my job.
So here in this blog I’m trying to give my fellow imps and all interested humans insight into my thought processes. I welcome any comments, but please don’t expect a logical-for-you answer.

May 20, 2011

Guarding reference works

I’m sure Keepers of Knowledge (KoK) of all worlds know the problem: reference works are supposed to stay inside the HoK (House of Knowledge), yet somehow students seem to conveniently forget this all the time.
This phenomenon used to annoy the heck out of me, but nowadays it provides a great source of entertainment. See, my HoK – as you may already have gathered – isn’t quite like other’s. Trying to sneak out reference works is a serious offence and goes neither unnoticed nor unpunished.
Let’s have an example. A student, let’s call him Dopey, comes in and finds just the reference book he needs. But, oh my, it’s large and full of knowledge one can’t possibly go through in the little time Dopey has before he needs to get home to mama and he really doesn’t want to come all the way back to the HoK another time. What to do? Dopey has an idea – it’s not quite a bright one (more like a candle in a dark room with the wind blowing) but to him it seems stellar. He puts the reference book in his bag and casually walks to the exit. Surely no one will notice what he’s doing. What he doesn’t know is the KoK of this particular HoK is a very knowledgeable mage and has a mean streak. The mighty Venimalia has protected her doors with a spell that picks up on reference works. So, when Dopey steps up to the doors, an enormous monster with sharp teeth, a grotesquely scaled body and sulphuric breath appears right in front of him and with scathing tone and booming voice, speaks, “Your dare to defy the rules? That makes you mine to devour!” The apparition comes complete with scorching body heat and flying spittle, which makes the experience that much more intimidating for little Dopey, who by now is shivering and very nearly peeing his pants. Enter Venimalia. While Dopey is still in shock the grand KoK opens his bag and finds the evidence. In front of everyone she tells Dopey off and imposes a draconic punishment on the little offender. This ensures that Dopey will never ever try something like this again and also serves as a neat exemplar for all other patrons.
I have found this to be an incredibly effective way of teaching people not to break my rules. And I don’t even have to hurt anyone in the process ;-)

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